2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
