First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
