He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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