God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
