New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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