We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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