I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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