I can feel you judging me through the phone.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize