their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
