So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
