can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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