I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
