he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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