I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Randomize
