Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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