she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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