I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
