well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
