I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
