She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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