He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
