Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
