Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
