it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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