No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
