This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
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So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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