When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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