You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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