I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
