just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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