craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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