There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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