Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
