Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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