dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
