Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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