Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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