just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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