i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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