ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
