if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
