Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
