office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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