she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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