uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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