weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
