I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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