You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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