In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
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I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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