My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
