Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
