We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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