I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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