I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
