I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
