dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
